I have to switch off my connection to people after interactions even friends. It’s like I have to gain complete freedom or disconnection from everyone so I can be me. I’ve felt like this since I was a kid when I wanted my own space so I could do things without being judged, or have anyone watching or thinking about what I do so I don’t feel their perceived or actual feelings. I like being fully anonymous. But then I feel that they don’t know who I am so I feel their mistrust or fear or uncertainty. I am forever running. I absorb peoples emotions too easily and lived my life through theirs. So I don’t get close to people, I don’t stick to one idea or one person or one plan because I don’t want to get sucked into the wrong one!